How do we deal with a stubborn teenager

The concept of adolescence

The adolescence period is considered one of the most important and most dangerous periods in a person’s natural life, as it is a critical period that requires a lot of care and attention, because it is the transitional period in his life, in which he moves from childhood to the stage of manhood and rationality upon which commissioning is based, and adolescence may be at some stage a stage of tension, anxiety and turmoil , While others find it a regular period of time, it can be passed with more caution and caution, what are adolescence, what are its risks, and how are they dealt with to overcome them successfully.

Definition of adolescence

The concept of adolescence can be illustrated by the following definitions:

Adolescence in the language: taken from the subject matter of exhaustion, meaning a boat, and so-and-so is said by a teenager: that is, it is close to dream and adulthood, and the teenager dreams, meaning his boat, and the meaning taken from the word is the approach of maturity and rationality.

Adolescence in idiom: It is the age group that begins with adulthood and ends with complete maturity and adulthood, interspersed with biological and psychological changes that appear on the adolescent, and the time range in adolescence’s start and end varies from person to person, and its manifestations differ depending on the person or the surrounding environment.

Adolescence in Psychology: Psychologists define adolescence as the stage of approaching maturity and not maturity itself; because it is at this stage that the physical, mental and psychological maturity of an individual occurs without actual completion, for full maturity may require a long time spanning to ten years of life.

Adolescence in Sharia: Between Sharia, a person has two stages in his life:

The first stage: the pre-puberty stage, and at this stage the individual is not required for legal costs, and his actions are not punished in the hereafter.

The second stage: It starts from puberty, and at this stage the individual bears full responsibility for his actions, and the reward and punishment that entails.

The risks of a teenager’s rapid growth

There are many rapid physical changes that occur in adolescence in adolescence. The speed of physical growth, or what is known as developmental flow, entails many risks that may harm the adolescent or those around him. These include:

Loss of kinetic mobility in adolescents, resulting in random movements that are not balanced, as a result of the unusual growth of the ends of his body, making it difficult for him to hit the goals he wants, as if his arms are not his arms that he used to.

The inability to control the sound, due to his inability to control the vocal cords, so his voice becomes a mixture of children’s voice on the one hand and the voice of men on the other hand, and the tone of his voice brings together the high and the thick, and this may expose him to ridicule others from him, thus increasing his confusion and difficulty passing the stage for him .

The loss of emotional harmony and the emergence of conflicting inconsistent feelings. Once happiness appears, he overwhelms him, and his smile filled the place, and once you find pessimism and sadness, he hides over him, losing hope in life, he needs the aid and the rescuer who stands beside him, all of this as a result of the hormonal flow of his body, and the increased endocrine secretion in the blood.

The adolescent’s sense of arrogance, his feeling of the strength he possesses led him to feel that he is stronger than those surrounding him; stronger than the mother, father and teacher, and this matter has risks; he pushes him to enter into quarrels and clashes that he thinks are the strongest in them and that he is the dominant and undisputed, it is soon to discover the opposite, and that He greatly appreciated things.

Emerging moral and behavioral extremes with his family, such as anger, stubbornness, misprinting, and constant quarrels with brotherhood.

How to deal with a stubborn teenager

The adolescent faces the most difficult period of adolescence in the adolescence, in which physical, psychological, and behavioral changes and many other changes are made. If the parents are better at dealing with the children at this stage, they will end with the best results, which is the independent personality that is free of mental illnesses, and if the parents deal with the stage ignorantly; Later on, a teenager characterized by aggression, stubbornness, and lack of reconciliation with oneself. Among the tips that help parents to successfully overcome this stage are the following:

Understanding the needs of the adolescent in a scientific way, and full awareness of the circumstances of this stage and the changes that occur in it, and this is reflected in the support of the adolescent and standing by his side, and not against him in what he is issuing of behaviors that may seem strange to others.

The use of firmness in dealing, and avoiding the cruelty that may appear in the words of the parents or on the features of their faces.

Adopting a method of dialogue between parents and a stubborn teenager, and avoiding the issuance of orders and prohibitions; it makes him feel unappreciated, insulted, and underestimates his mental capabilities.

Avoiding the teenager discussing the time of anger; extreme emotions cause the person to lose the ability to make appropriate judgments, or to think impartially and in balance, and to make him unable to receive advice from others.

Accompanying the adolescent and listening to him, and showing his importance to the parents, that his affairs and interests are in the first place they have, and that their goal is happiness and comfort.

Providing the same teenager, by subjecting him to an experience that makes the difference in his life, and helps him to form and refine his personality, such as sending him with a group of young people on a wild journey who face the harshness of living, move away from the usual smoothness, and make their own decisions.

Giving the teenager a degree of privacy at this stage, and notifying him of independence; by giving him the expenses on a weekly or monthly basis, or relying on him for some tasks, such as assigning him to purchase the needs and requirements of the home.

It is important to keep the teenager at this stage from anxiety and stress. A study was conducted on a group of teenagers, the purpose of which was to show the relationship between negative memories in a teenager and his feelings of anxiety about certain events, and between their depression, and the results of the study were a strong correlation between anxiety and depression. Among adolescents, adolescents who had high levels of anxiety also had high degrees of depression.

Occupying a teenager’s free time is a big problem for parents to consider and take care of. Organizing free time to satisfy the teenager’s desires and emotions, and exploiting his various energies is a successful method in dealing with this stage, and thus the exploitation of time becomes a means of progress rather than being a vacuum a problem experienced by the teenager .

Teenage patterns

Adolescent has four patterns that can be illustrated as follows:

Adaptive or moderate adolescence: It is the adolescence that tends to have emotional calm and psychological stability, and the adolescent’s relationship with society is a bit of calm and balance, and is linked to those who surround him with good relations, and this pattern is free from acute tensions and nervous emotions.

Withdrawal or introverted adolescence: where the adolescent appears depressed and isolated, and negativity appears in his actions, shyness and lack of self-confidence, and he has many daydreams, until in some cases he reaches delusions and pathological fantasies.

Aggressive or rebellious adolescence: in which the adolescent is rebellious and rebellious; he refuses to submit to and is subject to any authority that surrounds him, whether it is the authority of the parents or the authority of the school or any other authority, and the owners of this pattern tend to aggression and try to assert oneself, and direct or indirect abuse represented by stubbornness .

Perverted adolescence: It is the extreme image of withdrawal and aggressive adolescence. Moral degeneration and psychological collapse appear in this pattern, which may horrify those around it, and the matter may increase to reach the adolescent to commit the crime.


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